Life is Fragile

In 2010, a student from Murray left this earth. The statistics say that every graduating class will have a death of some sort. My class just happened to come across that death early into our high school career. This past week, we lost another member. Now I don't feel qualified to write an amazing story about Artem Milne, for I didn't know him especially well. But what I can say is that I worked with Artem for over a year and at least I have happy memories to remember him by. I have a few memories that I would like to share. 

Any one who knows me, knows that I can feel uncomfortable driving at times. I just don't trust other drivers and so I don't tend to "experiment" or do things that I don't trust. One of these things would be backing up into a parking stall. I am fine with backing out of one but for some reason, I have never fancied the art of backing in. Artem made fun of me one day for never backing in. I explained how I had never done so before. He told me that he would talk me through it. It took a solid five minutes for me to fill satisfied with my parking job. But now, every time I back up, I think of Artem and that very first time. 

The second memory I have of him is every time my boss needed his car washed he would asked two cadets to go. One day he picked Artem and I. As we were driving the two blocks to the car wash, we almost get in an accident for a person ran a red light (slightly ironic, for we were in a undercover cop car). After the scare of almost wrecking my boss' car, Artem said "if we get in an accident, we will tell him that I was driving." At that moment, I knew that Artem was one of the better guys in this world.

Even though I wasn't extremely close to Artem, I still felt comfortable enough to say hello to him every time I saw him Whether this was in the hall way at high school, or on the street down at college. Even if we weren't besties, he still acknowledged my presence. (Which is more than most human beings do these days.)

I think we forget how temporary our lives are here on earth. We get so caught up in our day to day activities that we forget that there is an end to this earthly madness. The news is filled these days with accidents and deaths. It is tragic that so many have to leave this earth so young, and unexpected. Really, after writing all of this, I have one request: live your life. Don't let it pass you by. It is cliche, but it is entirely true. You shouldn't be living in slow motion. Seize every moment. Tell the ones you care about how you feel. Don't assume that they know. Even if they do know, it will always brighten someone's day just to hear it said out loud.

Life is a gift, that is why it is call the present.

Confidence and Courage

As of late, my life hasn't changed. I wake up each morning, do something around the house, go to work, and then come home. Because of the lack of excitement, it means lack of blog posts. But this past week I have managed to break that routine. I have seen friends from high school that I haven't seen in months or even over a year. I have seen a movie in the theaters, eaten out most nights, and tried to make a memorable summer. 

On September 25, 2014 I wrote a post called Vulnerability (click link for a refresher course). This was a post about how I see myself as an individual. Because of the feelings expressed in that post, I have never felt comfortable approaching a man and asking them on a date. It gives me anxiety because I am the Queen of Over Thinking -that is a whole other blog post. Fast forward to April of 2015. My company announced a Company Party to be held at a Salt Lake Bees Game. They also mentioned you would being a plus one. Well, I decided it was about time that I have some stones (Reba reference, any one? any one? okay, no). I RSVP'd for Heidi Anderson plus one. Quickly after doing that I freaked out. I calmed myself by saying that if all the boys I know say no then I can just talk one of my siblings or cousins. Or I could just skip the asking a boy part and go right to playing it safe. I started to ask my siblings what they were doing the night of June 13th. To my surprise, they all had plans. Rude. Now I had to fulfill my original plan. I will say right now it worked to my benefit. I pondered who I could take as my plus one. I picked a boy, and stuck with it. My co-workers thought I was going to chicken out before asking him because there were some obstacles. This "Plus One" business became more than just a date. It is a mile stone in my life because I did something I didn't think I could do, and every one else knew I could do it but whether I actually did it was another story.  I ended up asking Preston, everyone say 'hi Preston.' I can honestly say I had a fun time on this date. I may have over thought the entire night the week before. I was so nervous that all my friends probably got sick of hearing my nervous rants, but that is okay. The actual date went like this: We ate dinner, watch the baseball game, and thoroughly enjoyed some fireworks. I won't go into details about the night because that isn't what this post is about. This post is about growing self confidence. This post is to show women (even though I still feel like a little girl) that it is okay to ask a boy on a date. So what if he says no, move onto the next boy. Instead of waiting for him to notice you -lets be real, boys need a push in the right direction- take the future into your own hands and ask him.

Grow some stones. Big brass ones. (Reba again, anyone?)

Fireworks, Preston, Heidi, and SL Bees

*The inspiration for this post actually came from my sister. She came into my room saying that she was going to ask the boy she is crushing on on a date because I inspired her. I am the one that gave her confidence. That was a pretty great feeling.